Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Pickup Lines

My roommate got hit on in the oddest way I've ever heard of.

On her way to a physics review session, D. realized that she was a little bit early, and decided to pick up a copy of the Daily Cal newspaper and sit outside while she waited for the review to start.

A tall, blonde, slightly geeky-looking guy (geeky we're fine with, but he was just weird) sat down next to her.

"So…do you read that often?"

"Oh, um, no, just every now and then."

His phone rang. He ignored it. "Oh, do you know when the new issues come out?"
This still in reference to the school newspaper, which has the word "daily" in its name (to be fair, it's no longer printed on Wednesdays due to budget cuts).

"Oh, you know, every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday…"

"Oh, okay." He tried to chit-chat a little bit more. Eventually he decided he ought to pick up the still-ringing phone. With a reluctant sigh, he finally said, "I guess I should answer that."

"Uh, okay."

So he went off to the side talking on the phone and it was soon time for class. As D. walked towards the classroom, tall guy was standing near the door, so she gave him a normal smile, thinking he was a normal, if slightly awkward, person.

Immediately, he said to the person he was talking to, "Oh, I'll call you back later," and caught up with her.

Long, awkward pause.
"Would you like to be given the chance to hit on me?"

D. was utterly confused, wondering what on earth he meant. "What?"

"You know, do you want to be given the chance to hit on me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, you're supposed to compliment me in some way or say something nice about me. I'm not really sure what ensues, but we'll get to that when it happens."

"Oh, um, I think I'll pass."

"Are you sure? Do you want a rain check on that? Oh, wait, it's not raining. How about a sunny day check?"

"Uh, maybe next time…"

Luckily, it was time for the review session to start, so D. managed to escape.

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